dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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