how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
