Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
