I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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