ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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