I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize