I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
