My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
