Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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