youre lurking in front of me
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
