My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
