im six kinds of drunk right now
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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