I feel like I'm in dance class right now
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
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