spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
