I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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