He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
