You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
