yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
