Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
