dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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