my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
