we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
