Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
