I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
the raccoons are back...
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