My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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