I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
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