ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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