I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
How many fucks given?
0.12846
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
