i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
