i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
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