I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Dignity is for republicans.
Watching her eat just hurts me
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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