RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
