I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
