she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
