goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize