it was like eating out sand paper
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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