i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
