I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
