Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
