Apparently you make a good broom.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
