I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
