It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
