I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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