i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize