it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
