How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
