I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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