Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
