I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
