You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
