my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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