some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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