I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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