Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
