i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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