He is an equal opportunity slut.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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