She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
